Raptors Roll Call Jan 20 vs Trailblazers

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The “make it rain (boos)” edition:

Barbosa: made it to the line and helped settle his teammates and bring them back to have a shot at winning this thing. He really showed his “mentor” tag today, showing the young guys that all is not lost early.

Butler: in a night where the little rascals took over the show, Spanky here actually had a half decent game. Good defence, active, but missing more shots than Lindsay Lohan.

Calderon: ugly early but a ringmaster in the second half. Jose was giving balls to people better and more often than a horny guy in the M4M section on Craigslist. 13 assists, but on the bad end of a brutal turnover at the end of the game.

Carter: Anthony must feel like a mould covered piece of bread beside a stale bagel. You really have to re-think your career when someone like Gary Forbes is stealing your minutes. I’ll go down fighting saying this guy deserves some floor time with the young kids. You are paying him for his mind, so play him.

Davis: 32 minutes and only 5 FG attempts? Really? I make more attempts trying to get into the Beer Store at 3am when I’m drunk.  I cry for all of you that thought Ed would lead the team in double doubles this year. It’s obvious he’s off and needs either rest or a trip back to college to have his old coach remind him of what he does well. Shame to see young talent wasted.

DeRozan: I picture Casey standing in front of DeRozan at halftime absolutely belittling every family member, insulting his eye colour, and finishing with him being drier than Drake. DeMar certainly came out in the second half and made it look like something went down because he was aggressive, he cared, and frankly he put the team on his back offensively.

Forbes: our backup point guard (who I expect to read has taken a crowbar to Bayless’ knee on the way to the charter tonight) produced a disappointing effort after showing some promise. He just doesn’t play the role well, looking more like someone that is surprised to be in control of the ball as opposed to being what he needs to be: a quarterback.

Gray: fouled out but made every one of them count. I still want to see him hand around the basket and produce some putbacks, but his hustle is infectious and the fans are gonna love this guy. Seeing him talk some smack in the fourth was glorious.

A. Johnson: just a horrible game from Amir. Aldridge was playing with him like a butcher cutting up some meat and Johnson just looked like he was in the 10th round against a heavyweight all night. Gray outplayed him by far and it will be interesting to see what direction Coach goes against the Clippers.  Go with the gassed guy or give major minutes to someone that looks hungry?

J. Johnson: he started the game like a person with a stutter trying to recite the Peter Piper rhyme. Casey sat him down and told him he was taking his crayons away. JJ steamed and, when put back in, he played like a world champion cock in a cock fight. This was like game 1 of the season. Spaghetti head was every where on both ends of the court and it was epic.

Kleiza: good thing we waited for him to come back, huh? Another game filled with enough content from him as you would find in the centre of a hole. Stand in a spot and shoot. That’s all we need. We know you are one dimensional and we embrace it. You should too.

Driving the bus: James Johnson

Under the bus: Amir Johnson

Theme of the Game:

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