Breaking News: Joey Graham Thread Created in Forums

This is Front Page news.

In an unexpected turn of events, Google Alerts has returned a sole result for the keywords “Joey Graham NBA”. Upon investigation by vigilante internet activists, the source of this alert was revealed to be the Raptors Republic Forums. Specifically, an internet-poster who assumes the persona of tenforthewin was identified as the originator of this ghastly prank.

Internet-goers stated their disgust, with Afro_Daddy alleging, “might be the dumbest thing iv ever read here. no disrespect”. Although Afro_Daddy‘s insult was thinly veiled by the “no disrespect” qualifier, others were not so kind. WJF rebuked, “someone get drunk last night?”, asserting that tenforthewin may have been in a highly inebriated condition when conceiving the evil plot.

The drama continued into the night as passersby spurred the OP by suggesting rancid outcomes: “Bring Araujo back too”, chimed Vykis sarcastically, presumably while reading RR on the shitter, as is the case with most loyal readers. In the chaotic aftermath, shouts of “Bring Jose Calderon back!” were heard. This made little sense considering that the Spaniard already finds himself nested on the Raptors roster. The assailant who fired the remark was later picked out of a lineup and identified to be pesterm1 of Milton, ON, who posted this while driving on the 401, possibly lamenting just how fucking far Milton really is from the rest of civilization.

Others, such as IROR, were lost for words and were reduced to incoherent internet jargon such as “Lol”. On the condition of anonymity, one moderator close to the situation revealed that this behaviour was being caused by “dick all to talk about”. This conjecture, when combined with the known fact that a Raptors fan need to fap every 15 minutes and the constraint that there’s only so much fapping a human body can take, results in “time that needs to be filled”, and hence utterances of Joey Graham on what is usually a respected forum.

The dire situation was later controlled, with eye-witnesses suggesting that it was due to .40 Cal Flakes’ desperate plea: “Sigh. I know we are in the dog days of the off season but still…”. To be sure and for public safety the thread was locked, containing the outbreak to only 1300 views. When forum moderators were approached as to why the thread had not been altogether exterminated, the reason cited was that “an example needed to be made” to ensure that such misanthropic behaviour would not repeat.

We’ll have more if this situation develops any further, like if for some mysterious reason the thread is unlocked. Stay tuned.

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