The “we are as boring as the Jazz” edition Bargnani – the front line of the Pacers kept our Biggest Secret quiet early on. He tried to rustle something up, kinda like a bear coming out of hibernation, but the HO factor probably weighed him down. Bosh – 25/16, showing what a real man does…
The “do I excite you” edition Bargnani – hope you enjoy your Italian sausage spicy, because AB’s game tonight was like he was maybe, you know, auditioning for something. Hard to imagine he could have a better offensive game than he had tonight. Bosh – as afraid of grabbing a board tonight as I am…
The “trade Jose” edition Bargnani – how fitting that the assassin would pass up the final shot in regulation to the Italian Don. Bargs hit it like he was the only man at a convention of women in heat. The ultimate ending may not have been kind to the Raps, but if you didn’t jump…
The “who snuck the can of Raid into the ACC” edition Bargnani – he has had a great shooting touch the last few games. So, what do you do? Not pass him the ball, of course. Early foul trouble took him out of his much-needed rhythm. Like the rest of the team, he turned it…
The “big shoes to fill” edition. Adams – Honorary roll-call inclusion. Although he wasn’t present in body, he had the same impact on the outcome of the game. Bargnani – The VL tag wont be dropped until he hits the 20 ‘solid-game’ in a row mark, but thanks for the hope during a shit season…
The “everybody beats the Wiz” edition. Adams – what a fantastic signing by Colangelo. So good he gets traded for a conditional SECOND round pick….then immediately gets waived. BC signed this towel waver to some fanfare. Instead, like the HO signing, it’s another brick in the road of shit that BC has paved for this…
The “ain’t no HO on us” edition. Adams – back to wrapping himself up in 14 layers and checking out the hot chicks in section 119. Hassan Adams. An NBA version of that loser kid we all knew in high school. Bargnani – guess Coach has decided to run some plays for the kid. On…
The “holy crap, there IS another team playing worse than us” edition. Adams – stop the Hassanity. Shot 50% from the floor, grabbed two boards. A thing of beauty. Sure to be on SportsCentre. Sorry those without TSN2 missed this. Bargnani – El Fuego. Only thing better at the ACC tonight was the prime rib…
The “pop the corks” edition. Adams – he’s like that chick you see through beer goggles at the end of a new years eve party……Colangelo thought he looked great, got him home, then realized he was about as satisfying as the Zone diet. Bargnani – hotter than Mariah Carey, he was on fire like chili…
The “young turks” edition. Adams – only one thing will enable this guy to play any quality NBA minutes: Gatorade being deemed a stimulant and anybody who drinks it is banned from playing in the league. Bargnani – shooting .500 from the floor, showing confidence, not hesitating….yet Coach Triano sits him during the decisive part…
The “put me in, coach” edition. Adams – asked Santa for a blowout….any kind of blowout. Needs one just to see some PT. Should have asked for some skills. Bargnani – asked Santa for the ability to become a brick shithouse, evidently. Doing his best Oakley on one possession, but also doing his best “he’s…
AltRaps is back for the Kings game, so bear with me for another one of these. I’ll follow with a recap around 11AM or so… It’s the “Simpsons” edition. Adams – He’s the guy you find in malls testing those massage chairs much to the annoyance of the sales staff. Asked Triano if he could…