Roll Call – Dec 27 vs Trailblazers

6 mins read

The “young turks” edition.

Adams – only one thing will enable this guy to play any quality NBA minutes: Gatorade being deemed a stimulant and anybody who drinks it is banned from playing in the league.

Bargnani – shooting .500 from the floor, showing confidence, not hesitating….yet Coach Triano sits him during the decisive part of the fourth. When nobody was stopping Roy, you might wonder why not try to at least keep pace with him by putting a (somewhat) hot hand on the floor.

Bosh – slow start and far from spectacular overall. Continued to get to the line and convert which speaks volumes on two levels: his FT shooting is beginning to be a huge factor in keeping his point total amongst the best in the league and, somewhat surprisingly, he has consistently been receiving calls from the refs, something we as a people are always convinced we never get the benefit of. Still don’t see that heat and desire from earlier in the season though.

Calderon – kept Blake under control (which is like saying I stopped a turtle from speeding) and showed again that the dribble drive actually works if you try it. Oh and going baseline and whipping the ball out to the top of the key against some pretty tall guys isn’t always a top notch idea.

Graham – all that rain you guys had in Toronto today? Those were actually the tears of Joey’s mother. She realized as of today she popped out 2 midlevel NBA players that really needed their college education because in 3 years, both of them will have great looking suits but no place to go.

Humphries – word on the street is Hump won’t cut his hair until Jay speaks to him and tells him what he did wrong. I’m beginning to think that Triano loves him some pancakes and he caught Kris taking the last stack.

Jawai – speaking of stacks of pancakes, judging by the size of the young fella, one has to assume that Nathan, when attacking a Denny’s, would eat…you know…heartily.

Kapono – Triano actually mistakenly called Kapono “Hassan” a few times tonight. Why? Because Kapono gave them nothing offensively. 0 of 7.  He put it in the hole as frequently as Stedman does to Oprah.

Moon – loving the slanted headband look. That coupled with his goofy shit-eating grin would make a great logo for centrecourt at ACC. Welcome to Toronto, where all we can do is laugh. I did love his activity around the bucket tonight, though. Still playing horrible fly-by D and rarely following his ill-advised long range jumpers, but a couple of high wire acts tonight reminded the crowd of what could have been at the Dunk contest last year.

O’Neal – started off like a HOuse on fire. Blocked some Oden shots…right back to Oden for jams. Went inside, established a game, and moved outside to try and keep them guessing. Eyes lit up when he saw another cumbersome white guy covering him (Pryzbilla), making it 2 in 2 nights. Then the fouls started, coupled with the ref whining, and it seemed to take him out of it. Shame, too, since it looked at the start like it would be a nice back to back for him.

Parker – if he worked at a carnival as a kid, I bet he looked after games of chance because, face it, if you can predict what he will produce for you before any particular game, you should get your stockbroker license stat. He is as often horrible as he is great, but good more than bad.  He used to deserve more credit than he got since he was taking on some of the best in the league. Can’t say that anymore since he is coming off the bench.

Solomon – Devlin’s favourite Raptor had a typical Small Willie game. It’s never good when your name is at the end of a statement like “well, who else we got to play there? I mean, we have to play the hand we are dealt, so lets throw caution to the wind and sub in…”

Ukic – I lovingly have this vision in my mind of Roko being this young kid sitting on the plane with all his NBA teammates, looking excitedly out the window, possibly reading the in-flight magazine and nudging AP telling him what the air speed is of the plane they are on. Then he gets to the hotel, orders up “Danielle Does Duluth” on pay-per-view and tests out the consistency of the hand lotion supplied by the hotel. All while getting paid millions for doing as much work as a grip in a porno.

Voskuhl – impressive game. Not even a full minute and he commits a foul. Well played, sir.

Driving The Bus:   Chris Bosh

Under The Bus:    Jason Kapono

Game Theme:      Promises.

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