Neither close. Ever.

I was at work so I missed the game, but when someone came by my desk to tell me we were down by a point in the final minute, I already knew it. I didn’t need to watch or turn on the radio to know that Kapono was going to swing the ball cross-court and almost decapitate a ref, or that Bosh/Bargnani tried some awkward series of jerky pump-fakes to draw the foul to no avail. But not in my WILDEST dreams would I have thought that Jamario Moon – aka the 19th man on ANY other NBA roster – would have taken it upon himself to hoist up the most important shot of the game with time left on the shot clock. I didn’t think he was THAT stupid. Gotta hand it to ol’ Jumpshotio though, he continues to surprise.

And Hassan Adams was worse than this? How about P.J Tucker? Hell, throw a jersey on Alice Fine and I bet she’ll at least not lose the game for us. 

What’s it going to take? Being benched? Demoted to the D-League (his locker’s still waiting…)? Obviously a face full of Bosh spit doesn’t do anything. And I don’t think the team’s medical insurance covers labotomies. So I’m at a loss. Before you know it, he’ll be trading in his jersey and strutting out in the proud colors of the photo above.

But he’ll still be wearing that crap-eating grin that says, “I know y’all are laughin’, but I don’t get it.” The only saving grace is that, unless you’re a big Moon-Over-My-Hammy fan, you won’t have to see it.