Roll Call

Roll Call – Jan 23 vs Bulls

The “I’m pretty sure Devlin soiled himself” edition

Bargnani – da big Italian played da Bulls like he was a strong arm in da mafia. Da hustle he showed tonight further proves dat I was an idiot when I said he would never make it as da Raptors centre.

Bosh – dere is only one leader on dis team and he is it. How he goes, dis team goes and tonight he was hitting dos jump shots like da wind hits Chicago.

Calderon – he may not have been driving to da hoop, but he was driving dis team. Hard to deny dat the Raps probably got a lift from his return to da floor. One thing I noticed was he was getting rid of da ball a bit quicker than normal and I think dat helped keep da Bulls offguard, not letting dem set-up in da halfcourt.

Graham – da good Joey came out to play in Michael’s town. Near perfect from da floor, throwing some elbows, showing some ‘tude.  You just know he is going back to da hotel tonight, knocking back some of dos Goose Islands, ripping some phonebooks in half and looking for some Windy City lovin’.

Humphries – da DL.

Jawai – da coach decided dat da man from Down Under needed to watch and learn. He did seem right into da game, though. Kind of reminded me of a bigger version of Mateen Cleaves.

Kapono – only one thing scares me more than seeing Kapono on D: opening da paper one day and reading that Hef has accepted Oprah’s proposal to pose naked in da Playboy…and den mistakenly looking at da picture. Is dere a way to maybe switch offense/defense on every possession?

Moon – was it just me or did Moon seem almost invisible? I remember exactly 3 possessions where he did something meaningful.

O’Neal – he can’t even showcase himself properly. 1 of 6, still can’t hit a layup, and one of only 2 Raptors who landed in the – of da scintillating +/- stat. You could get more pep and effort out of Steven Wright. Oh, and Tyrus thanks you for being part of his poster.

Parker – continues da solid play. I agreed with some RR commenters today that wondered if bringing Jose off da bench and continuing to ride da massive play of Parker might be a good idea. Parker showed, though, dat we could have a new two-headed monster amongst us. His turning and laughing at Noah was a nice touch.

Solomon – didn’t play. I imagine da guy tossing and turning in his sleep, breaking out in cold sweats and murmuring “ohmygod…ohsweetjesus” den wondering how much his signed shoes might fetch on eBay in Turkey.

Ukic – 5 minutes of play dat had about as much meaning as Realizar’s “date” with da girl from Hooters in which da “date” consisted of ordering lunch from her, paying her for said lunch, then brushing his hand against her arm as he was leaving. And he was wearing mittens.

Voskuhl – 1min. 1 foul. 1 hell of a pickup by Colangelo dat is being used to his full potential by a coach dat shouldn’t be a coach. What a tangled web.

Driving The Bus:   Jose Calderon

Under The Bus:    Jermaine O’Neal

Game Theme:      Shecogoh.

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