Sunday Schadenfreude: Chronicling Bargnani’s Performance in NYK-SAS

Our favourite whipping boy versus the best power forward of all-time? Hell yeah!

Our favourite whipping boy versus the best power forward of all-time? Hell yeah!

Second Quarter

8:53 – I’ve just turned my attention away from the Arsenal-United match (suck it, Zarar), and to this Knicks game. Fun fact: Bargnani, Stoudemire, Anthony and Chandler are getting paid a combined 70 million dollars this year. 42-21 Spurs (Barg out, 7 points on 2/6 shooting, 0 rebounds, 0 blocks, -18)

7:00 – Wait, what the hell is on Joey’s face Stoudemire’s head?

5:50 – 6 minutes left in the Arsenal-United game. Still 1-0 ManU. Zarar’s fingernail watch: chewed to the cuticle. United just subbed in one half of LMFAO.

4:57 – Duncan on Bargnani. Bargnani rims out open 18-footer. Action goes the other way, Duncan manhandles Bargs in the post, gets shooting foul. 51-27 Spurs.

3:50 – MWP with back to back baskets. Alternates between mean-mugging face and happy-smile face. He’s a menace.

2:55 – 3 minutes of Fergie time, but no goal for Arsenal. Zarar’s fingernail watch: Spongebob-ian level

1:52 – Parker easily drives past Barg-statue in the paint for the easy score. 59-37 Spurs.

0:28 – Back to back baskets for Bargs! He’s now been subbed out for defense…by Stoudemire. Oh boy.  59-43 Spurs.

0:00 – Spurs lead 61-45 going into the half

Third Quarter

11:28 – Another pair of free throws for Duncan. Knicks going small with Anthony and Bargs in the front-court. You figure out what happened

 9:26 – Bargs draws foul on Diaw, sinks two free throws. Bargs is now the leading scorer with 15 on 5-10 shooting, but is a -19 and has 0 rebounds.

8:18 – Bargs leaves Duncan WIDE OPEN in the paint, Duncan misses 5-foot gimme.

7:46 – Danny Green hits tough turn-around 15-footer from the baseline. Who knew he could do more than feast off Duncan and Parker’s spoonfeeding?

6;50 – Duncan grabs two offensive rebounds, Green scores on backdoor cut with nice up-and-under. 77-52 Spurs.


5:00 – Danny Green cans his 6th three-pointer of the game. He now has 24 points and 10 rebounds. Tim W 1, RR commentors 0 (Spurs up 82-54)

3:30 – Bargs slow to recover in transition, Parker easily weasels past him for a lay-up. 84-54 Spurs. Bargs subbed out.

Fourth Quarter

6:59 – I got bored and made some lunch. Knicks down 37. Bargs hasn’t played at all since he was subbed out.

3:51 – Yeah, Bargs is done for the day. 16 points on 5/10 shooting, 1 rebound, 2 fouls and 1 turnover. Team worst -26 in 26 minutes of action. Glen Grunwald solidifies his status as the best Raptors GM of all time.

0:00 – This game is mercifully over. What was I thinking? Spurs win 120-89.

Final Thoughts

Without Tyson Chandler, this Knicks team is trash. Sure, they have Carmelo, but without Chandler to make up for his defensive liabilities, especially when Melo is at the four, this Knicks defense goes from passable to terrifying. The three-man rotation of Martin-Stoudemire-Bargnani is a broken carousel, and I’m not sure Knicks fans are prepared for the bumpy ride. I really fail to see how this Knicks team is a lock for the playoffs. I have the Hawks, Cavs, Raps (I’m a homer), Pistons, Nets, Bulls, Pacers and Heat over them in the East.

And yeah, Bargs is still terrible. His shooting numbers look alright (especially compared to Gay’s), but everything else is still so awful – the rebounding, the help defense, the intensity. It’s not a surprise to any of us who have watched him through holes in paper bag masks for years, but I think it’s finally dawning on Knicks fans how awful Bargs, and quite frankly, given the NYK fanbases’ reputation, I fear for his safety.

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