DiNote: This is my first kick at this, so be gentle. Bound to pick it up after a few games. Now I know to always write down things like, oh, I don’t know, the score. Please leave me comments letting me know how to improve.
(Also, this diary would have been up much earlier, but watching basketball again got me all hot and bothered, so I had to hit HoopDome to calm down.)
The moment KG stormed out onto the court with that Stare™ in his eyes, you could sense that this wasn’t no warm-up game.
I mean, an 11,000 + sellout crowd for a pre-season game? In a hot, sweaty neutral venue? Oh yeah, it’s serious. You know these guys are here to make a statement. Toronto’s out to show that they’re not going to roll over and deliver Boston the Atlantic (and the East?) while Boston’s out to prove that you only need three players on your team to win a championship.
But lets crack a beer, crank the volume, and get right to it.
1st Quarter
11:00 – Il Mago for 3! Way to get this party started.
9:45 – I’ve said this before, but I hate Bosh’s hair worms. It’s not envy, it’s not petty – I just hate them. I can’t take him seriously. It looks like a bad Samuel L. Jackson wig in some shitty action movie no one will see.
8:30 – Ahh, the pre-season, where they don’t call lane violations on free-throws.
8:00 – Bargnani nails another effortless 3. Looking good early.
7:45 –Bargs with some good defense. Don’t get used to it.
7:19 – Bosh with a veteran up and under that sends Skinny Kendrick Perkins leaping into the stratosphere. It’s insanely easy for CB4 to get to the line (but hit those free throws!). Not sure if this illustrates Bosh’s maturation and savvy or the fact that Kendrick Perkins doesn’t recognize an 8th grade varsity post move.
6:25 – Anthony Parker with a great steal on KG. He’s becoming a more potent Battier to this franchise, and I couldn’t be happier. You can’t help but like him, trust him, want him to do well. If I had to let one Raptor baby-sit my infant son, it would be AP. Hands down.
6: 15– Kapono’s first shot, a lighting quick swish that makes it look easy. MoPete who? (I’m sorry Mo. I didn’t mean that. It’s just…he’s #24 too…and younger…and has a hotter wife…but not herpes…)
5:00 – I think we’re going on 7-plus minutes without a commercial break. Amazing. It’s like watching basketball on HBO. Who do I thank for this?
They just showed a wide of the stadium, the Palalottomatica. It screams ‘sports fan’, and not ‘corporate sponsor’. This, despite being named for Lottomatica, its sponsor. Somehow, they’ve figured it out.
5:17 – Long silky jump shot for Bosh. I love that he’s beginning to develop range.
4:20 – After committing an obvious foul, Tony Allen’s pouts like an Rep soccer kid who gets stuck with all the losers on his gym class team. This is NOT the look of a team player.
3:45 – Nice tip-in Rasho! Let this be a lesson to all the lumbering 30+ big white men in the league: you can make up for a lack of athleticism with veteran savvy.
3:15 – After a missed Graham jumper, Calderon give him a ‘let’s go Joey!’ motivating clap/threat that was half motivational, half ‘here-we-go-again’. At least he’s implementing his leadership on the court.
2:40 – Nice travel by Paul Pierce for 2.
2:22 – Absolutely sick spin by Joey Graham to get to the hoop, but you don’t get points for footwork. Finish the bucket!
1:06 – Razor Ramone for 3!
0:45 – The first of the new Raptors HD commercials star Chuck Swirsky examining onions in a grocery store. What an adorable Cabbage Patch Kid.
At the end of 1, it’s 27-20 Toronto. So far, so good.
2nd Quarter
10:52 – For the first time this season, the Calderon slide! How I missed watching Jose blow past his defender, lay it in, and slide cocksure down the baseline. It will be a classic move for the Raptors collective for years to come.
9:35 – Delfino saves the ball from going out in an athletic move. While I hate that lizard tattoo on his shoulder, I’m glad to have him aboard.
9:05 – What ball movement. The Raptors are looking so unselfish, these FIBA comparisons may not be so far off.
8:25 – Great look by KG on a skip pass to Eddie House. 34-27 Boston.
2nd Quarter – Where is CB4?
6:50 – Joey gets hacked on the way to the hole (off a nice feed from Carlos). Definitely not a pre-season foul. These teams are playing.
5:43 – KG does his best Nash impression with 2 behind the back looks that make Perkins look much better than he is, like an ugly chick with a good body standing next to a portly girl. Watch for that trend to continue this season.
Another new Raps HD commercial. This time Chuck’s at Civello’s. Yes, apparently bald men visit salons too.
Showing the game stats, and what the heck is adjusted FG%? The Raptors are 15-31 yet shooting over 50%!!??! Do they factor in free throws in Europe? This better not be a new NBA stat.
At the half, it’s 43-40 Boston. KG’s rocking a double-double at the half. In his first pre-season game as a Celtic. Remember this when MVP voting rolls around.
3rd Quarter
10:09 – Bargnani opens the third the way he opened the first, with a 3. 50-49 Boston.
8:53 – I guess they are calling lane violations.
8:25 – A monster put-back by KG! And with swagger he swings off the rim like a monkey at a….uh, like a, uh… tetherball on a pole. Yes, tetherball! That’s better. Anyway, the dunk was well worth the T. Gotta set the tone (write this down, Bosh).
8:00 – Another quick release by Kapono. 54-52 Raps take the lead!
7:31 – I love that four players are on laying the court right now, fighting and clawing for the rock. Don’t tell these guys this game doesn’t matter.
7:34 – I know these commentators are trying, but the ‘when in Rome’ references are getting old.
4:35 – A close-up of Carlos Delfino. I’m pretty sure he’s wearing black eyeliner. This is not a joke. He’s like the Latin Chris Crocker.
2:23 – Finally! Chris Bosh shows up with a big slamma-jamma! Oh baby!
1:01 – TJ from 3. 15 points and counting from PG#1. 68-68.
0:24 – Note to self: Ray Allen is real good. 70-68 Boston.
4th Quarter
9:55 – Tony Allen, back from a knee injury that occurred when he showboated a jam after the whistle, (might be one of the most embarrassing moments I’ve witnessed on live TV) throws down a huge jam in a pre-season game. And then he hobbles off the court, limping. He’ll just never learn.
Btw, His dunk might have looked a bit awkward upon first glace, but that’s because he dunked ON THE WAY UP. Kid’s got springs in those calves, its incredible. 76-70 Boston.
9:00 – Calderon for 3! PG#2 has 10 pts. 76-73 Boston.
8:33 – Jamario can jump.
8:03 – Calderon’s heating up (the NBA Jam references are on fire!) He’s the only one keeping us close. 12 pts, 76-75 Boston.
7:30 – A Maceo Baston sighting. Did I hear someone say ‘so what?’
7:12 – Jamario can jump. But he can’t hit a J.
6:02 – Jamario hits a J!
5:20 – And the Trying-Too-Hard award goes to: Jamario Moon!
(After the game, Jamario’s forced to hand the award to Juan Dixon, who plants birdfeed in his hair in retaliation.)
4:20 – A nice tip-in by Moon. I like that he’s out there hustling despite missing some easy buckets. 84-77 Boston.
3:00 – Dick Bavetta pulls out one of his elaborate calls. I just pray the guy doesn’t throw a hip out on his patented Change Of Possession Hop. Still, I’d rather see him than Violet Palmer any day.
2:50 – Great transition pass from Luke Jackson leads to a nice Joey lay-in. Too little too late?
2:10 – Juan Dixon misses a jumper.
1:15 – Maceo Baston cuts to the left and lays in a ball with more English on it than the Mayflower. It toilet bowls twice and then falls out. A HUGE miss. This would have cut the lead to one. That’s the game right there, mark my words.
0:22 – I spoke too soon – Brian Scalabrine steps on the line! We’ve still got life! Got bless slow white guys who smell like pepper.
0:16 – Juan Dixon misses a jumper, but the ball goes out of bounds.
0:10 – Another missed Juan Dixon jumper. If I counted correctly, that’s 4 missed shots by Dixon in the last minute and a half. And of course, that’s the game. Passing the ball is an option, Juan. You’ll be riding the pine all season if you keep that up. You can tell he’s fighting for a roster spot the way he’s chucking shots like Britney in the bar john.
The Dinoscore: 89-85 Boston.
LINE OF THE GAME:
Kevin Garnett. 19pts, 17 boards, 5 steals in 32 minutes. Get used to it.
Extinct Dino of the Night: Tough to choose between two 0-fers, but tonight’s award goes to Luke Jackson (0-4) Lukewarm Luke in particular missed two wide-open jumpers, which is exactly what he was brought into camp to do. Though you can’t judge most players by pre-season stats, Jackson’s here to fight for a roster spot. Does not bode well.
A loss. So what? There was lots to be excited about, though I’m going to try real hard not to read too far into this. I’ll wait until tomorrow’s game for that, when we slaughter the home-team, Lottomatica Roma.
(Fun Foreign Fact: Lotto has a player named Fucka. His name’s a swear! And judging by the look on his face, he doesn’t find it as funny as my brother’s grade 7 class does.)