Forgive me tonight, I’m giddy. By the end of this read, you will be too.
I found my favorite website of all time (keep reading! It’s worth it!) because of this game, and that title should read 9-8.5. We dominated half of those 48. But in a late game critical possession, the ball does not go to Jamario Moon. I don’t know how you found him posting up Caron Butler attractive. Sorry Jose, a rare error, but a big one.
(But then there are the five straight 10+ assist games…oh Jose, I can’t stay mad at you!)
Tough loss. But you can chalk it up to our old friend, Pourous Perimeter Defence. They don’t know it, but Roger Mason/DeShawn Stevenson/Nick Young/Dominic McGuire are…what’s the term, oh right – not good.
The one that bugs me the most is DeShawn Stevenson. I just plain don’t like him. And blowing on your hand after hitting an open shot? Dude, no one who tattoos their basketball jersey onto their back gets to do stuff like that.
When asked if he’d do the same, Brendan Haywood said, “Nah, I know my last name.”
That quote comes from one of my favorite articles so far this season. Check out how much of a punk-ass Stevenson is.
Oh, and there’s this, for which they should revoke his salary and donate it to the Katrina Relief Fund.
$3,348,215 could provide a lot of help in New Orleans.
Poppa Smoke Smurf. I’d love to have seen the jeweler’s expression when DeShawn described his order, stonefaced. G’d up from the feet up, indeed.
But enough bashing. Caron Butler and Antwan Jamison were superb, and are of considerably more value to that team than Gilbert Arenas. That’s unquestionable. Also unquestionable was the lack of legs in this game. Case and point: Parker’s steal in the third where he tried to take off but struggled to get out of first gear.
I’m sorry, but I was going to save this for the end of the article, but I couldn’t resist. Ready? Here we go!
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This might be my favorite website. Stop for a second to take in what it is.
Got it?
Now, it’s discovery has led me to the motherload. Brace yourself for…this.
Sift through the sex lives of all your favorite NBA characters. Is it real? It’s gotta be. In fact, I’m SO sure I just sent this email to Bill Simmons:
Dear Sports Guy,
My Raptors were wasting an easy opportunity against the Wizards Saturday night, and it got me thinking to how much I hate DeShawn Stevenson.
And then, by the grace of god – you know what, just read this. Please.
http://www.talk-sports.net/nba/girlfriend.aspx/DeShawn_Stevenson
Then, when you’re done click on this, pop some Orville, and enjoy.
http://www.talk-sports.net/nba/girlfriend.aspx/
If you enjoy this and are allowed to mention my Raptors blog, (www.dinosty.com) then great. If not, no worries.
The NBA: Where “tracking baby mommas across the information superhighway” happens!
If it makes a mailbag, I’m going to The Keg.
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Oh man, that was fun. Thoughts about the game:
- In a pre-game interview, Delfino continuously refers to Arenas as ‘Jillbert’. I love that guy.
- The Wizards also use “Stronger” as their flag-waving intro track. It’s time to change it up.
- How come nobody noticed that we were in an arena in the capital of the Free World that was filling with smoke? Haven’t they seen that Van Damme hockey movie?
- Anyone else chuckle at Bryan Heeney’s halftime teleprompter work? I was with him until he said ‘unhesitatingly”. Not because it’s not a word, but who uses ‘unhesitating’ as an adverb?
- I think I’ve got my Earl Monroe fix now until, I dunno…2045?
- It’s crazy to say it, but Bosh would have had those late rebounds.
PHEW. I’m tired. But at least I can go to bed knowing that Richard Hamilton loves getting his balls tickled.
