10-9

Does Pizza Pizza hate Jesus? Well, if Jesus is a Raptors fan (we know he’s a Spurs guy), then the answer is yes.

For those who don’t live in Ontario, Pizza Pizza is an Ontario franchise that offers to redeem Raptors tickets for a free slice if they score 100 points. It’s cardboardy goodness, Canadian style.

To all the sliceophiles who bitched and moaned against Charlotte on Monday – I hope you’re happy. Sure, today manna is falling from the skies hands of hairnet-less landed immigrants, but even though the Triangle Offence™ was clicking last night, racking up 123 points, Phoenix managed to easily scored 136 (a season high!), which, if you’re counting, is more than 123.

So, to recap our last two home games:

Against the Bobcats: 99 points in a win, no free pizza.

Against the Suns: 123 points in a loss, free pizza.

Worth the slice? Let’s be honest: if you let another team score almost 140 points in regulation on 59% from the field, 46.5% from the 3-pt line, and 75 points in the second half, well, there’s not enough cheese and dough and tomato sauce in the world to make that okay.

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Amare had an effortless 25 points on 9-11 shooting. Nash dished a season high 18 assists to – gasp – a posse of open three point shooters: Hill had three, Bell had four, and Barbosa had five, 4 of which came in consecutive possessions in the second quarter. It’s not like we’ve had problems with this every game, right? Er, right.

You’d think after he hit one or two OPEN three’s, we would make a concerted effort to keep track of him, but NO! he continued to magically re-appear somewhere outside the arc and have all the time in the world to jack another one.

I wonder which one of Sam’s plans that was!

Raptors came out with spunk and seemed to be ready to run with the Suns, which of course is exactly what you don’t want to do. Sure, we shot 55% against a team that doesn’t play a stitch of defence, but every team knows you’ll never beat them that way (The Warriors must have lost the memo!) While Rasho had a huge 10 point first quarter trying to assert some dominance in the paint, the Raptors stopped going to him for the rest of the game (Sam’s plan #2: Get him going, then cut him off!). And without Bosh and Bargnani, our inside-outside game has evaporated like the lust in your parent’s marriage (Don’t cry – It’s not that they don’t love each other; it’s that they don’t LIKE each other.)

They are, of course, the better basketball team right now. So my panties aren’t all bunched because of the L. But what does bug me…

TJ was back in action, which of course means the PG position ceases to become the offensive distribution center (see Nash, Steve) and becomes the black hole of our offense. Yes, TJ is a potent offensive player (when his shot is falling) but it’s no coincidence that every time he’s scored over 16 points, we’ve lost.

Yes, you read that correctly. To me, that’s a telling statistic. Another telling stat: Guess how many double-digit assist games TJ has this season? One, a 14 dime effort against the Bulls. Jose has SIX, over which we’re 4-2.

Does this not concern anyone else? If it doesn’t cement Jose as our starting point guard, I don’t know what does. TJ seems content to play the Ben Gordon game, so stick him at the two! Or in a Barbosa-type role off the bench.

Before people start accusing me of hating all black people named TJ with stingers, these numbers don’t lie. Let’s end this debate once and for all.

Boston on Friday. Bosh and Bargnani will be needed against the best record in the league. Because that’s where our offence should come from, TJ. It’s the job of our talented bigs. Our 2 and 3’s job is to get open along the perimeter and slash to the rack. The point guard’s job is to pass the ball. Write it inside your undies. Tattoo it to your forearm. I don’t care how you do it, but you need to remember this.