The “who is that chubby guy in black with one earring sitting on the Cats bench” edition.
Adams – a cabbagepatch kid. it just occurred to me that we have spent some of our cap space on a Cabbage Patch Kid. Sweet.
Bargnani – the trade-talk continues to swirl around him amongst the interwebs. I have always been riding him, but this year the flashes he is showing makes me wonder what is underneath that layer. Is he just increasing his value or is he trying to re-pay BC’s faith? Either way, he is making me sit up and take notice. Much more active on both ends of the floor than he has ever been. Even followed his shots a few times, looking for a rebound.
Bosh – incredible game. Classic take-over game. The refs got in his head again and he took charge. Unlike another player who sat watching, he saw the mismatches and took advantage of them. He singlehandedly won this game and tore the heart out of the Bobcats and made the crowd turn on the hometeam. This may have been one of the best single-man Raptor performances I have ever seen. 2.5 blocks on one possession, never looked gassed, and he was having fun. Stats? How about 30/15 and 12 of 19? Sick. Wicked. Nasty.
Calderon – Felton made Calderon look lost. Maybe I should just leave the name of the opposing PG blank every game and make it easier to fill in, since it seems Calderon can’t stop one ant with his foot, let alone another professional PG. He did make some nice shots though, thereby stemming what was then a Bobcat tide. We can’t keep relying on him offsetting his weakness, though. I would love to see a scrimmage with him up against Solomon and see how many times Will burns him.
Graham – you ever been to a restaurant, order something you’ve been looking forward to a long time, but you end up getting something else served to you by mistake? You’ve been Joey Grahamed.
Humphries – get outrebounded by a bunch of stumpy men, so what do you do? Insert Jason Kapono!!! Humphries is still riding the “coach-will-love-me-soon” train. He was put in for just over a minute to close the game and didn’t do himself any favours, though.
Jawai – dreading the first heartstopping Raptors game. Who knows what could happen??
Kapono – dead-eye shooter and only 2 shot attempts in 21min? That’s kinda like having a kickstand-like penis and being a virgin. I’d be okay with it if he was being shut down or made up for it with great D, but that would be far from the truth. A pathetic game on both sides of the ball.
Moon – like Bargs, every game brings with it the anticipation or dread of watching Jamario taking jumpers or chances on defense. Today was a good day. 10pts, 9 boards in, like Bargs, a very active game. His teammates did a good job of feeding a hot hand and, as per usual, his offensive game somewhat disappeared in the second half, but he stepped up defensively being as active around the boards as he has been all season.
O’Neal – please feign surprise when I say he got in early foul trouble, didn’t hit a shot from the field the whole game, did grab 9 boards, but at least 4 of them were against people that barely could reach his nipples. The $20mil man sat out the fourth quarter and, once the starters were taken out in garbage time, was not sitting anywhere near them. This HO needs a pimp hand bitch slap and soon. This Twin Tower tandem should have had their way with a Bobcat front line, especially with Okafor with the flu. Instead, it was Bosh and Bargs that made the opposition pay when it mattered.
Parker – a horrible, horrible start to the game, but he turned it around some in the second half. Still, not good enough. While never an allstar, at least last year he was consistently good. This year even his defensive stance is in need of work. He entered a summer of uncertainty, being a moveable piece, so I expected much more from him to start the season to show he is worth keeping. Disappointing.
Solomon – beautiful pass, albeit late, to Bosh in the low post and very active hands coming up with a timely steal, but playing like a third-stringer at best. Bosh and Bargs hitting their shots allowed him to amass 6 dishes, but I can do that after eating chinese food. Still appears that he has the nod as the backup to Jose in Sam’s eyes. Scary.
Ukic – why the long face? Not your fault you aren’t up to NBA standards. Oh wait…it is. Get to the gym, lad. You have a lot..and I mean A LOT…of work to do.
Driving The Bus: Chris Bosh
Under The Bus: Jason Kapono
Game Theme: Indeed.