AltRaps is off for a week, I’ll try to fill the big shoes. Raps Fan with the post-game report later…if he recovers from his bender.

It’s the “Shame on you for tuning in” edition.

Adams – When Colangelo beat zero other teams to the punch in signing Adams, is this how he envisioned him being used? Technically, none of the Raptors struggles are Adams’ fault since he didn’t do anything. Nothing.

Bargnani – Darko 2.0. I can’t for the life of me figure out why he needs a towel on the bench, what has he done that tires him out? 1-5 for 2 points and 2 rebounds and three bricks on clean looks? If he can’t make an open jumper he’s useless since he gives us nothing in any other area of the game. Forget about jumping for rebounds, let’s start using your legs in your shot like every other shooter out there. How long are we going to say its a confidence thing with him? Maybe he’s just, you know, a bad player.

Bosh – The only reason Bosh’s line (17/10, 6-14) is looking good is because I just got done seeing Bargnani’s. Couldn’t finish his moves against Matt Bonner who had 14 on 5-8 shooting and lost the Red Rocket on defense way too many times. Got in Moon’s face again (not as fiercely though, after all it’s just a game) for taking a bad J but then took an equally bad 3 pointer with a minute plus left. Still waiting for that great game against a great team. Is it 2010 yet?

Calderon – Had to leave the game in the first half because of an upset stomach which was further aggravated by Tony Parker’s dribble “penetration”. Scored 16 but gave up 24 to Parker who got his 10 assists after zipping past Ocho at will and finding snipers. 7 of Parker’s 10 assists were to perimeter players and 6 of those were threes setup by penetration against Calderon. That’s 21 more points scored indirectly against Calderon. I think I once saw him clapping his hands as Parker went up for a J, further research tells me that’s called a shot contest in Spain.

Graham – Started off with two air balls, then some more bricks, then got two three point plays and that’s about it. Funny part is that he was closer to Good Joey than Bad Joey. I thought we should’ve looked for him in the post against Manu, he’s stronger than him and the one time we went to that matchup he came oh so close to finishing, should’ve gone right back to him.

Humphries – We’re -10 on the boards and this guy gets 1 minute? Triano does know that he can rebound, right? Remember last season when everybody wanted Bargnani’s playing time to go to Hump because he played harder and produced more per minute, well, let’s start those chants again.

Jawai – He’s a good kid, just not an NBA player.

Kapono – Here’s a crazy thought, have him play point guard. He drives more than Jose, can run the 2-man game with Bosh or JO and is a better shooter. Find me one element of Jose’s game that is not present in Kapono’s and in better quality. If Jose’s not driving, he’s a piss-poor Kapono and right now he’s not, so I’d rather have the better shooter in there. What’s the worst that can happen? The opposing PGs can’t torch us any more than they already do?

Moon – His way of upping his intensity is wearing a headband. Got burned so many times by Bonner, Finley and Manu that you have to consider him a defensive liability and not the “defensive ace” Hollinger made him out to be. As pointed out by OntarioTeachersFundPresident in the chat “Moon likes to make those grab the rebound with one hand and SLAP THE BALL to MAKE THE REBOUND LOOK FIERCE”. That about sums it up. Here’s his line: 1-5 with 4 points.

O’Neal – 24 points, 10 rebounds on 12-20 FG. Most of this work is against Duncan and the San Antonio help. Went to the bench to ice his shoulder and some said he was checking out but came back to make a run at the Spurs, he was the only one. Sure, he bitches to the refs more than any other player in the league but at least he cares, that’s more than you can say about anyone else, no? His offense is coming back to where it was before he got injured. His salary is a problem, his play is not.

Parker – Managed to lose Roger Mason Jr. for 9 second half points. His lateral quicks are shot and if anyone ever calls him a “good defender” again they’re basing it one a quarter’s stretch of play, nothing more. Hasn’t played a good defensive game since Game 2 when we beat GSW. Can’t wait to see what BC gets for this pylon.

Solomon – No better way to endear yourself to the coach than to jack up a terrible 3 as soon as you come in and then let Tony Parker beat you down the floor twice for 4 points. Leo called him a “very good shooter”? This guy couldn’t cut it in the D-League. To be fair, the only reason Triano got him off the bench was because Jose was busy reading the Spanish translation of “7 seconds or less” on the can.

Ukic – Apparently played 5 minutes but I could’ve sworn I never saw him.

Voshkuhl – The ace up BC’s sleeve. Appears to have a more refined post-up game than CB4. Hey, he scored twice in the post on Matt Bonner and that’s more than I can say about Bosh. Would’ve gotten more play if he was mobile enough to trot his ass to the perimeter and stick with the Rocket. (Why am I missing Matt Bonner and Roger Mason Jr.?)

Driving the bus – Jermaine O’Neal

Under the bus – Andrea Bargnani

Game themeKnights of Cydonia

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