You know those fancy upper-crust masquerade soirées where everyone wears those little velvet pastel-colored Phantom of the Opera masks so that they can wander anonymously through the crowd? And the beautiful-on-the-inside (read: ugly) common chambermaid, who’s stolen her passed-out employers outfit, slips on her gown and mask (which fit perfectly) whereby she summons up…
Washington Wizards 83, Toronto Raptors 122 Before the game I was thinking that the only way I would’ve even been remotely pleased by the outcome of this game would’ve been if we managed to crushed them by 30. But even after beating them by 39 I still couldn’t shake of Tuesday night’s loss in Washington.…
CCCRRRRACCCCKKKKK! Thats sound you heard echoing from the southwestern tip of Ontario was the breaking of a fanbase’s collective heart. True, we didn’t deserve to win this game, and true, we got lucky on more than one occasion, but deep down (above the beer gut and behind your man-boobs) we all felt like somehow, some…
Toronto Raptors 104, Washington Wizards 108 You would think after earning an undeserved lifeline courtesy of Anthony Parker the Raptors would play five minutes of good basketball tonight. It didn’t happen and we crumbled to a miserable defeat at the hands of the Wizards who played without Caron Butler and Gilbert Arenas. Before we start…
Gilbert. Caron. Antawn. That’s a formidable three, right up there with those guys in Boston (Powe, Posey, and Scalabrine). So when Gibby went down, Washington was supposed to drop faster than an Israeli hand-glider over Gaza. So what the hell are they doing a mere .5 games behind us in the conference standings? Well, Caron…
On the weekend of Feb. 17, NBA’s most talented fashion criminals (plus some real criminals) will take over New Orleans for NBA All-Star weekend. But before we make a single obvious metaphor or smarmy condescending remark, I must tip my hat toque to the guys at Hardwood Paroxysm, who have defied all odds and actually…
Congrats. You guys seem to be back to beating teams you’re supposed to beat. – Matt M. aka “the Linkmaster” from Hardwood Paroxysm. We had a better percentage in every offensive statistic, more boards, more assists, more steals, more blocks, and less turnovers. That’s a pretty decisive asskicking. When was the last time we heard…
Dear Senor Stoudamire, Como estas? My friends Juan Carlos and Pau have shared with me rumors of your unsatisfaction in Graceville. And today I awoke after a long night of drinking cervezas with beautiful women to read on major sports leader, the ESPN, that you are considering ze great powerhouse of Boston along with the…
I know! I couldn’t believe it either! I’ll take credit for this one. In my game day post I all but guaranteed a Boston victory. Of course, it was just a little inverse motivation (I don’t think reverse psychology is the correct term). Lo and behold, it worked! So while the ‘media’ and the…
Toronto Raptors 114, Boston Celtics 112 What a game! The Raptors take out Boston in a clutch and tense affair which put a premium on the proverbial ice in the veins. Jose Calderon’s two clutch free throws followed by a decisive drive to the rim for a three point-play put the Raptors up by two.…
Q: If we can’t beat farm teams like Philly, how are we supposed to take on Kevin Garnett’s Boston Beasts? A: The only way we can win is if they beat themselves. Even if the stars aligned and Kapono* decided to earn his cash, Bargnani remembered he’s supposed to be good, Jamario’s only shot attempts…
I was talking to a fellow hardcore Raptors fan today about some Facebook Raptors trivia he was playing around with. Turns out it was insulting his intelligence by asking him shit like what jersey number Vince Carter wore and who was the first ever draft pick by the Raps (apparently 75% said Marcus Camby). I…