17-18

8 mins read
1

No pictures, no links, just fury. Furious fury.

If the Raptors record above looks incorrect, that’s because the NBA has actually decided to score the game as 2 losses for this afternoon’s inconceivable disgrace.

Usually, we’re all jokes and bubblegum here at the Dinosty, but I’m irate and I can’t help it. My girlfriend’s laughing at me because I almost smashed our glass coffee table in two, and all I want to do is duct tape her to a chair and make her watch today’s…game (I guess I have no choice but to call it that). That way maybe she’ll feel my pain, show her why I’m stomping around like a child who’s parents won’t let him stay up to watch SNL.

I consider this an absolute insult to my loyalty, and you should too.
That fourth quarter was absolutely inexcusable. In case I didn’t make it blatantly fucking clear in my game day post, they have 1 player. That’s UNO, Carlos and Jose. And how we let LeBron go from 5-15 to dropping 39 on 14-29 shooting. 24 in the fourth quarter? Obviously Anthony Parker playing one on one with him wasn’t such a good plan. You’d think by points 15 and 16 we’d, I dunno, maybe come over the screens? Or double team, how ’bout that? Or, do nothing and let him rain suckerpunches from right in front of our bench so he can mug our scrubs as he trots down the court. I guess that’s an option too.

Reader Danny Gallivan feels the same way I do, and made some very good points in his comment.

The remainder of the Cavaliers were, I hope, suitably embarrassed that they walked out with a victory notwithstanding that individually and collectively they played like shit and didn’t compete.

They’re a shitty team, that much was obvious today. They’re going nowhere, even with Beastor doing his thing. Lebron put his teammates on his back and singlehandedly stole it from the Raptors – though we can’t give him all the credit, we did a truly mediocre job. It was Isaiah-caliber bad.

As for the Raptors, they ought to be ashamed. I don’t care how good James is, they still should have won.

Ashamed? That’s putting it mildly. I usually try to keep the ‘big picture’ in perspective when making these posts. And I’m thinking of the big picture when I say that games like this is why we won’t win a playoff series, why we won’t be considered a threat by other teams, and why we won’t string together a winning streak until we GET OUR FUCKING HEADS IN THE GAME. All we had to do is cover ONE PLAYER – granted, he’s fantastic, I understand that – but the complacency from 95% of our roster is pathetic. We let Lebron pull out the rug from under us, and all we could do is rub our tailbones and say ouch.

Brian Colangelo is a very smart manager, and seems to be very patient as well. That’s a good thing. If I were running the team, I would have stormed into the dressing room after this debacle, found out who taunted James from the bench, and immediately suspended him.

You worry about Chris Bosh leaving the franchise? Well, I wouldn’t want to play with a bunch of unfocused amateurs either. The game is just as mental as it is physical, arguably more, and Jamario jacking threes (no matter how many he’s hit) in crunch time is grounds for suspension. Or fuck that, fine the kid, take away his rollerskates, I don’t care, so long as he never shoots again. The fact that he (or AP or Jose) had a good game 3 quarters is totally moot. We left the court with a loss and I hope none of them can sleep tonight.

Jason Kapono should have his wife revoked the way he’s playing. He’s now 1-10 OVER THREE GAMES. I could do that! What are we paying him for if he can’t shoot accurately? I don’t want to hear about him not getting looks. He’s a big boy and needs to take responsibility for his futility.

I had three pages of game notes from the first three quarters, and they mean nothing now. I’m going to burn them lest I come across them at a high point in my life and start to cry. With the score 70-61, I wrote “I’m nervous”…turns out my instincts aren’t always off.

We’re getting close to the half-way mark of the season, and this team is right at .500. It’s time for some changes. Bosh, Bargnani, and Calderon are untouchable. (Ford is now off that list.) Other than them, Colangelo should feel free to be creative; and I expect he does.

I’m not sure about this yet. I’m not ready to write off the group we have right now, but it’s a mental deficiency that needs to be addressed either at the coaching level or the executive level. I don’t think blowing up a team that’s going to make the playoffs (and lose in the first round) is the answer, but if we could get a player who WON’T STAND for these horrific hiccups, that would be a good first step. I’m also pretty sure this isn’t possible – it takes a superstar to have that type of impact on his teammates, and while ours obviously cares, Bosh is much too soft-spoken to light a fire under his teammates. I wish I could have been in that locker room after today’s game to hear the crickets chirp.

I could say more, but I’m spent. I need to take a handful of Gravol and go to sleep before I stab the eyes out of my Raptor bobbleheads and urinate on my jersey.

If I make it through the night, I’ll have some less emotional thoughts tomorrow. Hopefully they’ll be of the entertaining type you’re used to…but no promises.

This one stings.

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