Raptors Roll Call Jan 2 vs Knicks

5 mins read

The “I laugh at the second game of a back to back”edition:

Barbosa: we got the W, but I still feel the need to ask where the hell he went in the second half. Yes, DeMar was having a game, but as the lead shrunk, Leandro, who had a nice first half, sat on the bench and tried to make a mental note of all the celebrities in the house so he could text his brother afterward.

Bargnani: I want to befriend the guy just to have him buy my lottery ticket. Evidently someone has told him that the solid line at the court that he stopped at the last few years can actually be passed without penalty and, holy moly, you have an easier time scoring!!! You can bet the usual doubters will be out with pitchforks at his first poor game, but lets enjoy the silence and the ride until then.

Butler: stone cold!! stone cold!! stone cold!! This guy beat you up, stole your lunch money, went to Harlem, bought a mixtape and a 40, came back, stole your girl, and is now rocking a fedora, a cane, and a fur coat as he gets a great return on his investment, just like Colangelo. Long time coming…for both him and your girl.

Calderon: the stinger he felt in his neck last night came back tonight, but only from watching the missiles being launched from downtown courtesy Douglas, Anthony and anybody else in white. He was a point shy of a double double which, for a PG playing 43 minutes, should be almost automatic.

Carter: you want a line to be proud of?  5 mins, 4pts, 4rebs, 3 asts. In that short amount of time he showed he was comfortable in knowing where guys were going to be and how to get them the ball. He certainly didn’t look like a guy who has had just over a week with these guys on the floor.

Davis: it was Ed’s girl that Rasual stole. He is trying harder than my girlfriend is to get me to look like some dude from some werewolf movie, but the one thing he and I have in common is we are coming out uglier in the end. Me physically, him in his game.

DeRozan: TMZ had the night of his young season tonight. None of that “let me just throttle up in the fourth” stuff tonight, baby. 7 of 13, 6 trips to the line, and enough bravado to have the ladies swoon.

A. Johnson: the first game where I was fearful of him fouling out before I needed a refill. He just made me fear the ref’s whistle from the outset. Sure enough, he picked up 5 but he never did get ejected. A few nice blocks, a silly turnover, and another night wondering what the hell that tattoo is.

J.Johnson: luckily we still had some confetti left from the other night, so I used it when James hit that corner 3 with enough wide open space in front of him that Donald Trump already had his assessors out there determining  how much he could get per square foot. Of course he followed that up with a quick shot that clanked like the Liberty Bell a few minutes later, but hell, he hit an important shot and looked like he had the weight of the world fall off his shoulders.

Magloire: from Howard to Chandler, the kid from Scarborough hasn’t had the easiest 2 nights in a row. Like last night, however, he earned some respect by hanging tough and actually matching Tyson’s rebound number with 10.  The Big Cat lives to see another day. I couldn’t be happier.

Driving the bus: DeMar DeRozan

Under the bus: Ed Davis

Theme of the Game:

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