Earlier today Kyle Lowry tweeted a photo of a few gift baskets that are going to be bid on at tonight’s game against the Pacers. The bad news is, you’re probably not getting one. The good news is, we’ve got an exclusive look at what’s in the baskets.
Kyle Lowry: Given that Kyle arguably has the most free time right now, it is fair to assume he had the most time to work on his basket instead of roaming the PATH before the game scrambling to pull something half decent together from Batteries-N-Things and mmmuffins. But because he is first and foremost a prankster, his entire basket is a giant Lovesac beanbag chair, from his only well-known endorsement deal.
DeMar DeRozan: Klipsch headphones and the LOWRY t-shirt that Kyle stuck in there as a joke. DeMar doesn’t have time for baskets right now, guys.
Patrick Patterson: Though we all know Patrick is an avid film buff, there’s no way a guy who saw Nocturnal Animals five times is putting a DVD of Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels in his basket. Patterson will have a homemade box-set of obscure Italian horror films, a recipe for rosemary infused olive oil dark chocolate and sea salt popcorn, a sweat-wicking, soft blanket and some foot duvet slippers, the official kind from Restoration Hardware.
Jonas Valančiūnas: Selection of the numerous failed wigs he’s been trying out all season and some defective Itty Bitty Ballers.
Serge Ibaka: A white, Dolce & Gabbana smoking jacket. A framed photo of him laughing.
P.J. Tucker: A heating pad, wrist weights, a high performance windbreaker that breathes, a motivational poster, sun protection, sensible running shoes (ASICS), a bag of trail mix with all the candy picked out and a nice, moisturizing sheet mask.
DeMarre Carroll: Puppies! And junk? Literal garbage? He really wants us to start taking this Junkyard Dog 2.0 thing seriously.
Cory Joseph: Thirty 4-packs of Snack Pack butterscotch pudding, half of which are eaten.
Norman Powell: A mixtape and two tickets to see Shaggy perform at Woodbine Racetrack. The tape is to listen to on your way there and it’s just “Angel” by Shaggy over and over. Damn, he got you pretty good.
Fred Van Vleet: His most heartfelt best wishes and earnest hopes for your future.
Delon Wright: A 6-pack of 7-11 taquitos, none of which are eaten.
Jakob Poeltl: Definitely the Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels DVD. A dog-eared copy of Civilization and its Discontents with handwritten notes in the margin, a 3XL dirndl.
Pascal Siakam: Three empty AND1 drawstring bags filled to the brim with Tech Decks finger skateboards.
Jason Thompson: A map of Toronto he probably could have used since he has clearly disappeared.
Bebe: Don’t you feel like it could just be filled with sand?
