Roll Call

Roll Call – Mar 11 vs Sixers

The “what the hell was that” edition

Banks – reminds you of your mother-in-law…you hate her, but it was a necessary evil to get what you wanted. Got more floor time than usual tonight, but did nothing of any value.

Bargnani – reminds you of that feeling you get when you first see some grass after a long hard winter. The only real bright spot on the court tonight for the Raptors and playing while fighting off the flu.

Bosh – reminds you of a 98 year old retiree sitting at a window, looking out into the parking lot, wondering when his family is coming to get him. He attacked the rim with authority the first few possessions of the game and then went away from it, probably feeling a bit hurt by Sammy’s D.

Calderon – reminds you of a worker, say a blogger for instance, that once showed a lot of promise and was loved by many. He then sat on the sidelines for a while, came back expecting to be loved by all, and wasn’t. Then he had to rely on the ideas of others to pull him back from the edge. Jose will be using his teammates to do just that as the season winds down: looking for his teammates to make him shine once again since the luster is fading fast.

Graham – reminds you of Roll Up The Rim……one in every 9 games is a winner for the guy. He had a fair game tonight which included one monster jam on Sammy that had…Donyell looking like he was passing a gallstone on the bench.

Humphries – reminds you of me: a ladykiller.

Kapono – reminds you of the look you see on a surfers face when he heads to the beach and sees waves the size of a wade pool. 9 boring minutes that featured 3 shots, none of which had a shot of going in. Did grab a board, though, which had the ball fall into his arms as if it had no other option.

Marion – reminds you of the cute dog you bought from a breeder that has all the neighbourhood ladies flocking to you to pet him, only to have you find out a few weeks later that he has a flatulence problem that reminds you of those nasty days you eat broccoli and asparagus souffle. He arrived here with such promise and presented himself as a beacon of hope. Now his game looks to mimic his speaking ability.

Mensah-Bonsu – reminds you of that kid you chose second to last in phys-ed to join your volleyball team, only to find out he has a 12” vertical leap at the net. Gave us some more effort on the boards tonight but also gave us 5 fouls. He needs to be thinking of the closing weeks of this season as an extended try-out.

O’Bryant – reminds you of that daughter of a farmer from Alliston that shows up to try out to be a Dance Pak member. Give her full marks for desire, but a snowballs chance of making it back onto an NBA floor next year.

Parker – reminds you of the centre line on a city road. Solid most of the time, but shows the distinct possibility of breaking up every so often. Played well tonight, but I thought to myself that we haven’t seen his aggressiveness too much lately. Love to see it come back with a few basket attacks and some hard nosed defense.

Ukic – reminds me of this. Nice game from Ukic-i-did-it-again. Of course he never, you know, passed the ball, but his 3s were hitting and he drove to the hoop. Even though passing the ball is an important part of being a professional PG, beggars can’t be pig farmers.

Voskuhl – reminds me that I need to check my RRSP to make sure I’m still set for when i retire.

Driving The Bus:   Andrea Bargnani

Under The Bus:    Jason Kapono

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