Fan Duel Toronto Raptors

10-8

If that’s a typical Charlotte game, then the Bobcat Bet is doomed.   33% from the field? Felton, Richardson, and Wallace going 7-38 (including Felton’s puketastic 0-8)? Those names might as well be Robinson, Marbury, and Crawford, ’cause that’s Knicks-level futility. Sam Vincent’s go-to play is even more pathetic than Sam Mitchell’s: The isolation jumpshot led…

9-8, but it was WELL worth it.

Forgive me tonight, I’m giddy. By the end of this read, you will be too. I found my favorite website of all time (keep reading! It’s worth it!) because of this game, and that title should read 9-8.5. We dominated half of those 48. But in a late game critical possession, the ball does not…

9-7

One of the perks of grinding it out in the office working 60-hour weeks is that sometimes your boss hands you courtside seats. I wouldn’t know, ‘cause I’m a “less is more” type of guy, but thanks to my buddy Carps’ relentless corporate droning, I got to peep the Cavs courtside. Not ‘Mini Me’ courtside,…

7-7

This teeter-totter’s making me nauseous. But a win’s a win’s a win, even against the NBA equivalent of Glass Joe, seen below mimicking the Chicago Bulls’ 4th quarter. What a mess. Where do you start? When you play like a disinterested rec league team down by 20, it’s more than lack of effort – it’s…

6-7, Raptors vs. The Beat-a-Bulls, High Noon

The Raptors have a habit of ‘hanging around’ winnable games, unable to drive nails into the coffins of lesser teams. Well, you can’t hang around when you’re playing against Lebron – he’ll string you up by your shoelaces and leave you for dead, swaying from the rafters like a worked-over punching bag. LeBeast devoured us…

6-6, and four things to say about it:

No time for a regular size post today. So here goes Dino-lite (hopefully still Dino-mite!) 1. Did anyone else get a deja-vu feeling when we almost let the lead slip away in the fourth…twice? Lucky for us, Pau looked less interested in stealing a victory than he did in getting home to catch the end…

5-5

At first, it’s way too easy. All you do is grab her ass as she walks past the dance floor, and within minutes she’s buying you drinks. The conversation flows casually, everything you say is funny. To make things even better, she doesn’t have a case of Hot Girl/Ugly Laugh Syndrome. Out of the gates,…

5-4

Well, good for us. We took one down at home, most of our players returned to form/showed us why we pay them at all, and it wasn’t mind-numbingly mundane. Our season record continues to teeter-totter. And so it goes. Some* game notes followed by some key learnings: * Actually, there’s a fair bit. If you’re…

4-3

I spent Saturday night nestled in the bosom of Lake Simcoe, where the internet joins leprechauns and black people as things they only have on TV. But the TV says we won,and since the TV has a long and proud history of never telling a lie, I’m inclined to believe we’re back above .500. Feels…

3-3

Ahhh…feels good to be back on even ground. It wasn’t easy or pretty though – we were one Bosh block away from being 2-4 and forcing me to drink a 2-4 to numb the pain.  Great to see AP decide to shoot the ball again. Think it might have anything to do with the fact…

2-3

A tough loss to the Magic, another winnable game that slipped away before our eyes. Why? A few reasons. Many point to the obvious cold streak from the field (99-256 over the three losses for a grand percentage of 39%) illustrated by the cringe-inducing airballs, front-rim bangers, and silly turnovers. But that is bound to…

2-2 (or so I heard)

I was doing SO well. To be fair, he did ask me if I wanted to know before he punched me in the teeny-tinys with the horrible news. And I bit. Like a dirty, desperate drug addict, like the obnoxious Mohinder predictably whines every episode of “Heroes”…I needed to know. Here’s the backstory: I had…