Toronto vs. Atlanta, 7pm

There was a time, not long ago, where Atlanta winning 3 straight was the universal signal for Armageddon. Fast forward to 2007, where the Atlanta Tiny Tykes are 10-10 following a surprising home win last night against Orlando. The Hawks are an exciting squad of athletes too young to legally drink but old enough to…

There was a time, not long ago, where Atlanta winning 3 straight was the universal signal for Armageddon. Fast forward to 2007, where the Atlanta Tiny Tykes are 10-10 following a surprising home win last night against Orlando. The Hawks are an exciting squad of athletes too young to legally drink but old enough to have bad attitudes and baby mommas.

Like any compilation of children, they are an unpredicatble squad that can go for 110 or 75 on any given night. They’ve somehow climbed back to .500, going 7-3 in their last ten. The rest of the league should take note: apparently the recipe for NBA success is an aromatic locker room potpourri of Hot Pockets, Cool Water and stale farts.

Atlanta has been a regular rumor destination for a Jose Calderon trade, possessing the desirable combination of young athletes and a brainless front office to ensure we get the most out of a deal. Pitting BC against Billy Knight is like a Frankie Muniz/Floyd Mayweather Jr. title bout.

We should be able to beat the Hawks. Experience, discipline, and depth are our advantage. We can keep this team in check if we remember to close out on perimeter shooters. Joe Johnson should be consistently hassled by Delfino and Parker, and is one of those players that is easily rattled into a 7-24 night from the field (see McGrady, Tracy). Josh Smith is a handful but it’s worth the price of cable just to watch this young asshole talent. I’m pumped to see Jamario Moon shadow Smith – if those two had babies I’m certain Joshario Smoon Jr. could dunk from halfcourt.

This is my porn.

Now Bosh is back, and Bargnani is to follow tonight. And in case you’ve forgotten the Absolutes of Sport, returning from injury is ample cause for a passionate road victory against an inferior team.